Asian Thieves Land

Fatt (Richie Jen) is a businessman, who originally comes from a family of martial arts experts. He intends to introduce his girlfriend (Kate Tsui) to his father (Yuen Wah) but is worrying if his father could accept his modern girlfriend. Then, to test out his father, Fatt hires a girl named Zao (Fan Bing Bing), who has just graduated from university and urgently needs money to be his temporary lover. Zao accepts the job and signs a contract to be Fatt's temporary lover. Fatt brings his fake lover home to meet his father, only to expect the unexpected.

Comments :
Kate stars opposite Richie Ren (or Jen, depending on what rocks your boat), as couple Rachel and Fat. They're the atypical modern day couple living it up in Beijing, though the latter is suspect of the former's promiscuity. He loathes the time when he has to bring his girlfriend back to the village to meet his parents, and to get the stamp of approval from his father (played by Yuen Wah). So they device a plan, and that is to look for a substitute girlfriend (hence the title Contract Lover), whose mission is to be as disgusting as possible, so that Dad will tell Fat to find anyone else better than the current beau, and hence, for Fat to introduce Rachel.

Cue Fan Bingbing's Joe (don't ask), a poor Chinese teacher who desperately needs the money to send home to her mom. To pull off being the most horrendous girlfriend ever, she has to go through a complete makeover, and be someone she's totally not, which is basically to act like a slutty bimbo (the credits actually showed her having an image consultant on set, though I suspect the role is to ensure her character doesn't tarnish Fan's good image). Then it's off to the village to try and be a put off to Fat's family.

The plot seems familiar, one of those fluffy romantic comedies where a mismatched couple soon find themselves falling for one another, while at the same time things happen to go against their plan, and for Fat not knowing who actually proves to be more compatible for him. Needless to say, Kate's role here is actually quite limited, given that she only appears in the beginning and at the end. The movie's in Mandarin too, and everyone has to speak it sans dubbers, which means the Hong Kongers must have had quite a difficult time - Kate does struggle with it, and can't seem to shake off her Cantonese accent convincingly.

The narrative runs quite choppily, and scenes seem quite disparate. Besides trying to be sexy at times (more for laughs actually), it cannot shake off the common generalization of villagers, that they just have to be skilled in martial arts. Yuen Wah's Dad is the distant descendant of Huo Yuanjia (remember Fearless?) and spouts (hokey) philosophy quite freely. Having set up the Jing Wu school, and the rivals being distant descendants of Wong Fei Hung, you can be sure that whatever jokes you can think of regarding their ancestry, be brought out for laughs. Those familiar with Hong Kong comedies, might see glimpses of them here, though with a lesser degree of success in delivery....
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