Asian Thieves Land

Kimihiko Onizuka (Sadao Abe) is a salaryman infatuated with Maiko (apprentice geisha) and whose greatest goal in life is to play a party game called "yakyuken" with one. Upon being transferred to his company's Kyoto branch, he dumps his coworker girlfriend Fujiko Osawa (Kou Shibasaki) and makes his first ever visit to a geisha house. However, when the realization of Kimihiko's lifelong dream is rudely interrupted by a professional baseball star named Kiichiro Naito (Shinichi Tsutsumi), he vows revenge by becoming a pro baseball player himself. Meanwhile, Fujiko decides to become an apprentice geisha. A success war between Kimihiko and Naito ensues where they try to out-do each other by subsequently becoming professional baseball players, K-1 fighters, chefs, actors and even politicians.
From Imdb

Comments :
I'm a huge fan of Japanese comedies. I'm also a huge fan of Kou Shibasaki. Needless to say, I was really excited to see Maiko Haaaan at my earliest convenience. Some extremely positive reviews added fuel to my fire, but that anticipation began to wane within the first 10 minutes of watching this film.

To be frank, the biggest problem is the main actor – Sadao Abe. This guy proves to be extremely annoying with his persistent, hysterical screaming. When I looked up his filmography I got flashbacks of other irritating performances. Remember Ryuji the Unicorn from the excellent "Kamikaze Girls" (2004)? Well, he was easily the most annoying actor in that one. Remember that psycho kid from the great "Uzumaki" (2000)? Well, he was easily the most annoying actor in that film as well. Seriously, they should have found someone else for Maiko Haaaan and ramped down the unnecessary shrieking, because he single-handedly destroys the enjoyability of this film. Kou Shibasaki is great as always, but she's got nothing to work with here.

Another big negative is the script, which is shamelessly weak. The greatest strength of Japanese comedies is the scriptwriting. Trust me, no country outside of Japan could come up with "Survive Style 5" (2004). Maiko Haaaan is reminiscent of Wong Jing's Hong Kong comedies that use cheap hysterical behavior for comedy. Just pump your lead actor full of caffeine and have him scream and jump around. It simply doesn't work that well. Now, there are a few funny moments to be had (like the ramen noodle sponsored baseball game), but for the most part it ranges between cringeworthy and mediocre.

Listen, there are a bunch of much better Japanese comedies out there to see before this one: "Swing Girls" (2004), "Kamikaze Girls" (2004), "Survive Style 5" (2004), "Happiness of the Katakuris" (2001), "What Did the Lady Forget?" (1937), "Sukeban Boy" (2006), "Ohayo" (1959), the "Trick" television series, "Cutie Honey" (2004), "Bubble Fiction" (2007), "Warm Water Under the Red Bridge" (2001), "Karaoke Terror" (2003), "Crazy Lips" (2000), and "Adrenaline Drive" (1999) to name but a few.

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